Week 3: It's Actually a Lizard

Standings:
1.) Hoying 5-3 (0-2 upset)
2.) Schweinfurth 4-4 (2-0 upset)
2.) Draper 4-4 (0-2 upset)
2.) Seeberg 4-4 (0-2 upset)

What makes a game site turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or is it just born with a heart full of neutrality? This is your semi-periodic reminder that neutral site games are stupid and terrible and should be changed to home-and-aways (or cancelled) whenever possible. Even ESPN isn't buying this "neutral site" garbage, having College Gameday in Fort Worth AT TCU even though the game's being played all of 20 miles away over in Arlington.

#12 Louisiana State Tigers @ #7 Auburn Tigers
Draper: Pump the brakes Buckeye truthers, Joe Burrow was pedestrian at best last week.  However, the Tiguhs looked quite good in a route of daU.  The defense was phenomenal but Malik Rosier was always butt.  Auburn was eh against Washington, but Washington may be pretty good.  This is a tough call because I think both of these teams COULD be really good this year, but I'm guessing one will be a mirage (no clue which one).  I'll go with the home team in a close one.  Honestly, nothing would surprise me in this game (even Coach O suiting up at halftime.  LSU: 17 -- Aub: 20
Hoying: How about that LSU defense and the way they totally ground Miami into fine powder? Then they shut out Nobody FCS State and...oh no...this is that Auburn team that beat Washington in a field goal kicking contest...no, no! Get your penalty kick shootout away from my college football! Please, Joe Burrow, get your act together and deliver us from having to hear about "SEC defense" for another year! LSU: 13--Aub: 16
Schweinfurth: I am not sold on either of these teams, but it will eventually sort itself out. Neither sports a great offense (don't hate Joe Burrow fans, but there is a reason he isn't starting at OSU). Auburn can do a little more than manage the game on offense. LSU pretty much does manage the game on offense. That's the difference. Auburn in a close, ugly game. LSU: 10--Aub: 12
Seeberg:  Any traditionalists out there?  This game should be right up your proverbial alley.  Lots of defense, mostly running the ball, and, oddly enough, two respectable quarterbacks in an SEC game (only because they both transferred from out of conference, obviously).  Jeauxy Burreaux and Ceaux looked fabulous out of the gate against the U, but I'm still convinced Auburn is the better team despite struggling against Washington.  The home-team TIgers stiffened well in the red zone several times, and I expect red zone conversions (or lack thereof) to be key in this one as well.  One more touchdown or one less field goal is likely to be the difference here.  Tigers win! #hedgingmybets  LSU: 16--Aub: 21

#17 Boise State Broncos @ #24 Oklahoma State Cowboys
Draper: Death, taxes, and points by the Pokes.  Honestly, I know absolutely nothing about these teams this year but Mike Gundy's offense is always a treat. Another who knows type early season game but those paddles can be intimidating for those who wander into Stillwater.  Temperature may still be a factor for teh boys from Boise so go Pokes.  BSU: 38 -- OkSt: 41
Hoying: OK, whew, here's some offense to plow my sidewalk. Maybe a bit too much, actually, seeing as how the boys in blue put up 818 yards against UConn last week in one of the most thorough dismantlings in recent memory. The Pokes have been no slouches themselves, transitioning smoothly from the Mason Rudolph era to the age of Taylor Cornelius, but they'll have their hands full keeping up with Brett Rypien and the Broncos. The Playoff committee hates Group of 5 teams, as shown by national champion UCF's woeful #12 finish, but a win over a real live ranked opponent could put Boise State in the conversation. Let's see where this goes. BSU: 41--OkSU: 35
Schweinfurth: Who likes high scoring games with no defense? Okay, I do like to see some high scoring games, but only because the offenses are that good, not because the defenses are inept. This game feels like the latter. This game is essentially Boise State's season as they should roll through their conference. We've all seen what a motivated little school can do against the big boys. I'll keep that trend. This game may last 5 hours. BSU: 52--OkSU: 45
Seeberg:  I'll take "games that should be the polar opposite of LSU/Auburn for 400," Alex.  The points will be coming fast and furious in this one.  Honestly?  Kudos to Okie State for scheduling a big boy from the non-big-boy conferences instead of, you know, ducking a home-and-home (cough TCU cough).  Unfortunately, the outcome of this game may display why schools are hesitant to schedule such games.  The Broncos have played better competition than the Cowboys and beaten them just as badly, if not worse.  Get your popcorn and your abacus ready, this one will be fun to watch.  BSU: 49--OkSU: 41

#1 Alabama Crimson Tide @ Ole Miss Rebels
Draper: Finally a game I feel comfortable in picking.  Bama has looked really good (as per usual).  Tua is that high upside high variance type QB that Saban usually prefers to avoid, but he can't avoid the excitement brought to the table.  I truly believe that Tua is setting us up for a monster clunker in a game this season....but not today.  I have no faith in the Landsharks to touch this Bama defense.  Yeah, yeah, it's in the Grove.  I don't care.  Bama big.  Bama: 38 -- Miss: 6
Hoying: This one's only really here because Mississippi is the only team with two wins over the Tide in the playoff era (and darn near a third). Last year, however, Alabama rolled Ole Miss 66-3, and I don't really see a reason why this one should be any different. You could say "same old invincible Bama," and you'd be wrong, because this year they have one of the top passing attacks in the country with Tua Tagovailoa. "Oh, but Ole Miss is averaging over 60 points a game!" you might say. And then I would slap you over the head because that was against Texas Tech and the Little Sisters of the Poor. Alabama has given up 21 points in two games, all in garbage time (yes, against Alabama, the early third quarter is garbage time). Looks like this is one contest in the south that the Rebels won't win. Ala: 45--Miss: 17
Schweinfurth: I'm not gonna say much about this game. Ole Miss isn't the same team that used to be a thorn in Bama's side. Add to that the Crimson Tide Death Machine has restarted using jet fuel and this one gets ugly. Ala: 49--Miss: 6
Seeberg:  Honestly, now that 'Bama has an above average offense to go with their always elite defense, it would be borderline insane to pick against them unless they're on the road (check) in a rivalry-type game (check- at least lately as the Rebels have pulled off a couple Ws) against a legitimate top 20 opponent (oops).  Two out of three isn't bad, but it also isn't enough.  Bama: 38--Miss: 10

#4 THE Ohio State University Buckeyes "vs." Texas Christian Horned Frogs
Draper: OSU has had two nearly flawless tuneup weeks.  This game has been circled for awhile as the first 'true test', but I'm not sure it actually is.  TCU was extremely boring and blah last week against SMU, but I won't put too much stock in a Thursday night game before their National Championship game.  I do remember the Buckeyes in another National Championship game in Arlington recently and their opponent was none too please.  Honestly, I feel very comfortable with the Bucks in this game.  Yes, TCU is by far the best defense of the young year OSU has faced, but this offense is simply explosive.  I don't think the Horned Frogs can stop the 1-2-3 punch of Bosa, Young, and Jones.  I'm feeling like TCU will be seeking out the actual Little Sisters of the Poor after this one.  OSU: 41 -- TCU: 17
Hoying: In 1957 and 1961, the Buckeyes were crowned national champions. Both years, they played the TCU Horned Frogs. Both years, they failed to defeat the TCU Horned Frogs (lost in 1957, tied in 1961). What connection do those teams have to this Saturday's opponents? None besides the names, really. Far more interesting is the grudge TCU holds against Ohio State for slipping into the #4 spot in the final 2014 playoff rankings. If Florida State could have done the world a favor and lost one of the 10 or so games they trailed by double digits in the second half, this might have been your 2014 national championship. The Horned Frogs have tailed off a little bit since then, while the Buckeyes have gotten...better? This year's squad was touted before the season as Ryan Day's...er...Urban's most talented ever, and they've lived up to their billing so far (other than the defense falling asleep after the rain delay against Oregon State). They'll face a stiff test this weekend, but nothing they can't handle. TCU's a good rushing team (never seems to matter against Ohio State) and they have some talented receivers (more problematic) but I don't think they can slow down Haskins, Weber, Dobbins (suddenly an afterthought) and a stable of receivers that's finally starting to gain some separation downfield. Bucks win comfortably. OSU: 38--TCU: 20
Schweinfurth: Can the 4-2-5 defense stop the Ohio State offense? That is what TCU is trying to figure out. To me it will be hard to stop the Bucks offensive line with a front 6. Watching the O-line last week, the Slobs were pushing Buttergs front 7 back 3 yards before Dobbins or Weber even took a step forward. Yes, TCU is a step up from the previous two teams, but that is crazy. On the other side of the ball, someone needs to declare the Silver Bullet D-Line illegal before Young and Bosa turn a QB into red mist. I'm not going to call this a blowout because TCU has shown the ability to hang around with elite teams. The talent gap is just so large and the entire Buckeye team is motivated and playing at a level we haven't seen since Cardale Jones took the reins in the 2014 B1G Championship game. The Bucks win, but TCU will put a scare into the Bucks for at least 3 quarters. OSU: 42--TCU: 24
Seeberg:  Well, both teams have looked very solid against...well, technically against some form of competition, albeit not all that great.  The Horned Frogs have athletes everywhere, including last year's thorn in the Buckeyes' side in an elite kick returner.  Despite putting up 77 points against Oregon State in a game the Buckeyes could have come close to the century mark had they tried, the Beavers gashed the silver bullets for several big plays, which will have to happen for TCU to hang around.  I suspect they will get two or three chunk plays, but the Bucks are too deep, and too good at Jerry World, to let this one slip away.  Best part of 3-0 is a chance to go 4-0...here's hoping Haskins is up to the challenge from a solid D.  OSU: 38--TCU: 21

Upset Special
Draper: San Diego State over Arizona State
Hoying: Vanderbilt over Notre Dame
Schweinfurth: Iowa St. over Oklahoma
Seeberg: North Texas over Arkansas (On the record: I wanted Draper's pick.  Solid choice)

Grading the Bucks: Week 2 -- Buttgers

Another solid performance against an inferior opponent.  Big strides forward by the D in week 2 over week 1.  Not a lot to say, but here we go.

Offense: A
co-MVPs: Dwayne Haskins and Tate Martell
Another fantastic week for the offense with little to complain about.  Haskins was nearly perfect....and Martell was perfect.  Yes, the opponent was buttgers, but that's still really impressive.  I didn't analyze the game that deeply because it was never in doubt, but the good news was there was essentially nothing off script.  No surprises and a very solid performance.

Defense: F (I kid)
MVPs: OSU Defensive line
You. Let. Rutgers. Score.  WHHHHHHYYY?!?! Yes, I'm joking (although that was the first points the Scarlet Knights have scored on OSU since 2015 -- in garbage time).  The defense was fantastic.  I'm now ready to buck the narrative that the Clemson D-line is the best in the country.  The Buckeyes have the more impressive line in the country (Pro-football Focus agrees).  The front four can't be beat, but the secondary will be tested next week.

Special Teams: B
Don't put anyone back to field punts.  I've said it for 3 years now, but it's time.  No matter who is back there, they are greater threats to fumble than to get a positive outcome (better than 0).  It's more likely that bad things happen than good things (and the cost outweighs the benefits).  Even the GOAT McCall fumbled.  Go 100% safe or at the least, fair catch everything (and find someone that is reliable to catch.

Coaching: A
What is there to say? Another great gameplan and execution.

Overall: A
You did what you were supposed to.  Often, lofty expectations aren't met.  This time, they were comfortably exceeded.

On to the first real test of the season!