Thursday, September 19, 2013

Week 4: Woof...these games suck

Standings
1) Draper             10-2      (1-2 upset)
1) Schweinfurth    10-2      (1-2 upset)
2) Hoying             8-4       (1-2 upset)

*Let it be known that Draper is challenging the Wisconsin/ASU result as the Pac12 has officially stated the officials screwed up the end of the game (thus preventing him from going 4-0 and losing 2 game lead)


Michigan State Spartans @ Notre Dame Fighting Irish
Draper: The Irish squeak by a hapless Purdue after getting beat in Ann Arbor before they head back home for the battle with the Spartans.  Dantonio's club has a good defense and....well, they have a good defense.  Notre Dame has not impressed me at all on either side of the ball.  The home field will be nice, but I want to see if the stout Spartan D can beat a team with a pulse.  Walrusball strikes with a vengeance and it won't be enough...to cost the Spartans the game.  Plant the flag with shut down D.  MSU: 13--ND: 10
Hoying: After witnessing Michigan's fine athletic program procure a convincing win over Akron, it would appear that either A) the Irish aren't as good as we (ok, I) thought, or B) their mystic hangover powers can stun a team in future games.  After all, Temple lost to Houston and Fordham after playing the Irish, so maybe the leprechaun's magic is still good for something.  I don't even know what that means.  Anyway, this week, the Irish meet the Spartans, their 4th or 5th most important rival (still ahead of Michigan).  Michigan State finally seems to have decided on a QB, sophomore Connor Cook, who shredded the stout Youngstown State defense for 4 TDs (don't laugh, Kirk Cousins never threw 4 TD passes), but Notre Dame's defense may be a bit harder puzzle to solve than the Penguins' (ok, you can laugh now).  Honestly, both of these teams feel like a complete mirage.  I suppose in situations like this, it's better to rely on the proven playmakers.  For better or worse, Tommy Rees is the #1 playmaker in this game.  Look for his successes to barely make up for his mistakes.  Like Curious George.  MSU: 17--ND: 20
Schweinfurth: One really has to wonder how good Notre Dame really is.  The Irish lost to a Michigan team that barely squeaked by AKRON(!) last week.  Yes, Notre Dame has a decent enough offense but that defense still looks like it is trying to tackle fake dead girlfriends.  Michigan State is the opposite.  The Spartan defense is very good but the offense is run by a walrus.  Michigan State has been putting up points on defense, but again walrus calling the offensive plays.  This has all the makings of a derp fest and you always take the home team in those.  MSU: 10--ND: 16

Arizona State Sun Devils @ Stanford Cardinal
Draper: Oh boy...ASU returns after getting a gift win over the Badgers from the officials (still bitter).  This is the marquee game of the which should adequately explain the horrible nature of this week's slate.  Stanford was a sexy pick, but no one really knows why.  They have no star players and run a very blah system (return of Tresselball?).  That being said, the Sun Devils didn't impress with the 'win'.  Stanford is better than Wisconsin and they are at home.  Don't expect much of a game.  ASU: 17--Stan: 34
Hoying: How good is Arizona State?  Good enough to hang with Wisconsin, possibly even good enough to beat them.  However, no brain fart is going to deliver them from defeat this week. True, Pac-12 refs will still be officiating this game, but I think if a Stanford player does something on the field as boneheaded as what Joel Stave did, he gets expelled from the university for academic issues.  How good is Stanford?  This is an untested squad (that stumbled over a Black Knight pop quiz) that many picked to take the Pac-12 for a second straight year.  Home field advantage may come into play here, but a wise and cultured Cal sports writer informed me that Stanford fans don't pack their stadium as full as Buckeye fans pack Cal's.  Look for the hot hand of ASU QB Taylor Kelly to cool off against the Cardinal defense as Stanford keeps pace with the Quack Attack.  ASU: 20--Stan: 31
Schweinfurth: Arizona State got lucky last week in the fact that A.) Wisconsin still doesn't understand end of game clock management and B.) the officials working that game were dumb (delay of game much?).  Stanford is clearly one of the two best teams in the PAC-12.  Arizona State will move the ball on Stanford for sure but the Stanford D prevails.  ASU: 27--Stan: 35

Auburn Tigers @ LSU Tigers
Draper: Someone had to be the fourth game...this is seriously the best.  I'm going with the Tigers (ohohoho--I see what I did there).  LSU should expose undefeated Auburn for the mirage they are and the commentators will just explain this away as SEC speed (ignoring the fact that Auburn is in the SEC). Another beat down. Aub: 16--LSU: 34
Hoying: Well, we have to pick 4 games each week, so say hello to the 4th least crappy showdown across the mound of garbage of this week's games.  Then again, the last time I said that, Miami beat Florida, so perhaps we shouldn't write this game off so quickly.  Auburn's seeming pillow fight season-opening win against Washington State has matured nicely in this young season after the Cougars' win over USC, and the Tigers' comeback win over Mississippi State has finally snapped their horrendous conference losing streak at 10.  LSU is still LSU, cruising past a couple of cupcakes and notching a season-opening win over TCU that's not maturing so nicely.  Zach In-N-Outburger looks better than ever, and while LSU's defense may have taken a small step backward, the only danger here is looking forward to a huge matchup at Georgia next week.  Tigeouxrs whomp Tigers.  Aub: 13--LSU: 34
Schweinfurth:  I really don't know much about Auburn this year and don't care about LSU.  With that said, LSU is better and this is a beat down.  Aub: 9--LSU: 35

Florida A&M Rattlers @ THE Ohio State University Buckeyes
Draper: Stop. Scheduling. FCS. Teams.  If you're Toledo, go for it.  If you're OSU, Bama, Oregon, etc., stop it.  These are like preseason games in the NFL--profit monger for the schools for a terrible product.  The Rattlers have no chance.  I'll say this, fire Urban if this is close.  FAMU: 6--OSU: 60
Hoying: Finally, the game everyone's been looking forward to.  Unless you're an Ohio State fan.  Or a FAMU fan.  Or a college football fan.  At least TBDBITL will still be there, even if the Marching 100 isn't coming.  Seriously, what can be said about a game like this?  The Rattlers are BAD, even for an FCS team.  Ohio State is GOOD, even for an FBS team.  The spread is currently at 50, which is the highest ever for an Ohio State game.  Oddly, the spread for the Miami (FL) - Savannah State game is currently at 60.  Do these seem off, comparatively, to anyone else?  True, the SSU Tigers were outscored by an average of 65.5 in their two losses to FCS teams, but still...
Blah blah Braxton's back blah blah Carlos Hyde blah blah easy win.  FAMU: 6--OSU: 63

Schweinfurth:  When this game was announce after Vandy backed out I rolled my eyes.  This is nothing but a paid beat down.  Essentially, the Bucks are going to play Miller enough to get his timing down with the backs and receivers, so just about a quarter.  I expect no less than 600 yards of offense from OSU.  The Silver Bullets will dominate and maybe a special teams TD thrown in.  Take a nap after the first two Ohio State drives.  This one gets super ugly quick.  FAMU: 0--OSU: 70

Upset Special
Draper: Indiana over Missouri
Hoying: NC State over Clemson
Schweinfurth:  Kansas St. over Texas

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